Marriage Relationship Advice - Time to Talk to Someone?
That last argument you and your significant other had was one for the books. Lots of yelling and door slamming went on before things settled down; if you can call not speaking to each other for a long period of time settled.
Both of you pulled out the same arguments that you knew would push the other's emotional buttons but this time around it looks like the two of you went the extra mile to find new ways to hurt each other.
The experience was a physical and emotional drain. Yet neither of you came to each other with love and apologized. Yes you said that you were sorry but it came grudgingly and through clenched teeth.
It's been like that for awhile now. You put it out of your mind before but now you cannot ignore what is happening any longer. The marriage is in trouble.
You do not remember when or the specific incident (if there was just one) that started the unraveling process of your marriage relationship. You are not sure you know whose fault it is. Just to be on the safe side you blame your spouse.
The issue now is can you and your partner gets things back on track but more importantly do you want to?
This is where a good marriage counselor may be of assistance.
Just the thought of a marriage counselor can get couples to put up a brick wall of resistance. No and a thousand times no they say. Whatever is happening in the relationship can be worked out exclusive of bringing in some nosy third party who may or may not have the answer.
How do they even know the counselor is any good? Friends and family can probably give you better advice. Besides all that you have to pay them and money is tight enough without wasting it on some quack.
Starting with the money concerns, it is not like marriage counselors all belong to the same union which forces them to charge outrageous fees. It varies from person to person. In addition there does not always have to be a fee. A good church pastor can also be an excellent counselor.
As for family and friends, there is nothing wrong with seeking out their advice. However it can be hard to gage at times where they are coming from. They may be telling you what you want to hear because they support you no matter what.
Or they may have never fully warmed up to your significant other therefore when they offer advice the blame falls directly onto your spouse. There can be a lot of entanglements that a neutral third party would not be hindered by.
How do you know if the counselor is any good? Do some research. Go online and see if any info is available. Talk to a couple that may have used their services or walk into a counselor's office and talk to them. You are not committing to anything; it all comes under the heading of doing your homework.
Don't let anybody kid you. No one has all the answers when it comes to marriage. There are no one size fits all solutions to each and every problem. But what a marriage counselor can do is help you to get the relationship back on track.
No doubt you and your spouse may be able to work thru whatever ails you at the moment. But so far that has not happened and things have been getting progressively worse. The relationship may be able to turn itself around. It has before. But how long are you willing to wait?
